Kay — #3

Recorded 9/24/21

June 2019 - September 2021

Kay, an old classmate from college, truly sparked the creativity and spirituality I needed for the long road ahead. 

I met Kay at the photo lab on Auraria Campus because we were in the same photo program at CU Denver. Once we found out we would be studying abroad together in Florence, Italy, we started to get to know each other more before we ventured to Tuscany. 

Before we left, she finished her BFA Thesis titled Suppositional Faith, Suppositional Loss: Altarpiece of the Vanished Twin. This body of work showed me Kay’s spiritual side and made me value her love for astrology, synchronicities, the afterlife, and the concept of everything happening for a reason.  

From Kay’s website, “When I was 21 and serving in the military, an on-base physician discovered internal medical anomalies of duplicated organs that to this day remain undiagnosed. After losing a twin herself, my mother feels that I too lost my twin while she was carrying us in the womb. Her pregnancy was so traumatic that the doctors urged her to abort. At the time, twin loss was not connected to her abnormal test results and symptoms during those nine months. To this day, the existence of my twin remains a suppositional afterthought that resides along with my faith.”

Kay does something very unique with her images, she electrocutes them utilizing a special process.

Then, I finally had the opportunity to learn more about her when we both studied abroad together in Florence, Italy. 

Her ideologies would directly affect my photo style and worldview later for this project. 

9/21 - 9/28

I also contacted Kay about my project before I left, and she was more than willing to participate. She lives in Rochester, NY, roughly 6 hours on the road from Dave and Jeanie’s house. 

I arrived, and she came down to help me with my bags. As Kay walked up to me, I snapped an Instax of her. As I took it, I moved when the shutter went off, so there was a little camera shake; it worked very well in my favor--distortion occurred in the bokeh of the trees above her and her dog, Reptar.

The bokeh looks like half-moon crescents. Kay has a deep connection to the moon given her thesis and experiences with her mother. Just a coincidence? Nope. It was one of the first synchronicities that I began to see.

I showed her the Instax I recently took of her, as well as the images along the way from Dave and Jeanies, and she responds, “SHANE! These are like—REALLY GOOD!” She amped me up when I needed it, and it pushed me to shoot the most I’ve ever taken with someone.

I stayed with her for a week and she would show me around upstate New York. Before I loaded any 35mm film, she got very excited when she found a Revolog Tesla roll, which is a roll of Kodak film that has been pre-electrocuted. Although it wasn’t electrocuted by the wizard herself, it held deep meaning to me because I could shoot like Kay for a few days.  

Before I even told her anything about my experiences with Jeanie and Dave, she got ready when we briefly stopped at her dad’s house. Guess what colors she automatically wore? Yellow. We both got goosebumps when I mentioned the synchronicity because she excitedly responded that yellow represents her as an individual. We stood there, amazed, at the connections that began to form. Jake was with us?

She showed me important places around her hometown of Oneida, NY.

We went to the old area where her house once stood, now demolished, and an empty lot.

Kay’s grandparents' house--her mother’s parents.

She has fond memories of visiting there with her parents and running through their large area of land.

Kay kindly rented us an Airbnb to stay close to Sylvan Beach with her boyfriend, Brad. Funny as it is, they are longtime childhood friends and met at a very early age. They had a romantic history years ago, but things fell through, and life would later lead them to one another.

That night, we took photos of Kay with one of the quilts her mother, Jean, made her. 

In her interview, Kay talks about her mother’s passing and how it has affected her mental health. Jean died of alcoholism, and the whole situation was rough on Kay. Her mother meant the world to her. She was closer to Jean than Jim, and Jean was the one Kay would go to for everything.

Her family’s dynamic was greatly affected and it rocked everyone’s world. It was a huge huge huge grief-ridden and life-altering event.

Kay had struggled with mental health throughout most of her adolescence, and her upbringing wasn’t always the easiest. She didn’t have the best relationship with her parents throughout her childhood, but she always loved them. She doesn’t blame them because she knows they were trying their best. 

All in all, she was very close with her mother, and it was a traumatic event to lose Jean.

The next morning, we headed to Sylvan Beach to take photos with Brad. This location is also significant because she came here as a child with her family.

After that, Brad headed to Syracuse because that was where he lived for the time being. 

We made one more stop at Jim’s, her dad’s house. We hung out in his work area, we talked about my travels and project while getting to know one another. I also had the chance to meet Kay’s brother, Jimmy, who lived with Jim. 

We said our goodbyes and both headed back to Rochester. I stayed for a few more days, where I would interview Mike, who was referred by Kay. 

Once I finished with Mike, I got ready to head out the next morning when Kay was leaving for work at her new job as an instructor for 7th-12th graders at Rochester School of the Arts.

She sat on the bench, and once again, I accidentally moved as I hit the shutter. We hugged goodbye, both sad because we had such a great time together. She was in a rush and had to leave to get there on time, and I went the opposite way.

I sat in my car, looked at the Instax, and just started to laugh because of the synchronicity that occurred once again for the last photo I took of her. The photo appears to have a double figure around Kay, representing the twin she feels so close to on a spiritual level. 

I started to believe these synchronicities and special moments were occurring because the collective energy of the universe was sending them to me. I felt that Jake, and now Jean and Kay’s twin, were a part of this positive energy showing me that this was the right journey. 

Like Jake, I never got to meet Jean. But after I heard Kay’s stories about her throughout the week, I felt like I knew her a lot better. My interview and photo sessions with Kay ultimately connected me to Jean in some form in this crazy and confusing life. 

Just a coincidence? Again, no. Don’t believe me? Think I’m crazy? I don’t care. This is my journey, and Kay pushed me to think more spiritually and think about each moment that would take place while on the road. 

Love you, Kay.

RIP Jean

P.S. Kay was told by many physicians it was nearly one in a million chance that she could get pregnant. She always wanted to be a mother but sadly believed it would never happen. 

Well, she and Brad beat the odds and had Vaughan on December 21, 2022.

They are all happy, healthy, and all living together in Rochester.